That's intense
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
