either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
how drunk are you?
Several
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
