he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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