she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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