she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
