I'm drive I can fine osifer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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