Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
