Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
