she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
