He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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