summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
