Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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