Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
