I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
