Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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