Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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