My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
