i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
