I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
