oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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