No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
