The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
