She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
