Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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