I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
