I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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