It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize