We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
