So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
