weddingsv make me drug and hornr
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize