I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
