i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
