I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
