I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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