Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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