Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize