if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
