whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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