So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
