dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize