i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Drunk is not a location!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
