btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
