Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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