it wasn't lemon gatorade
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
