"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
