well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
