i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
