And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
