For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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