why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
