there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize