I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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