Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
