let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
