Everything about him screamed your future.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
