life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
