also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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