What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
