oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
