he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
