I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize