i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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