didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
