There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
