She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
