drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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