This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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