I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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