Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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