i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
