morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This baby is an asshole
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
