Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
