Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
