Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
