lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
