They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
