You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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